Are you ready to stop the teasing from other people?
This article will give you the tools on how to deal with mockery, take control of it and emerge victorious.
At some point in most of our lives we have faced mockery; it may be based on our physical appearance, clothing style, how we talk, how we think or behave, or perhaps an error committed at work or at school.
For the individuals who mock, bully or tease, it is easy for them to forget the event over time. On the other hand, for people who are victims of mockery it may be just the opposite. Many times these events are sealed in their memories. Often it creates a negative effect on the victim; the memory can influence the individual to develop minimizing thoughts about their capacity, values, and abilities, completely affecting the way in which people perceive themselves. They are like the scars of wounds that can affect success in all areas of your life.
Knowing this, how can someone stop people from mocking them? First of all, it is necessary to understand there is no way out of the mockery. It is found everywhere, and we must always confront it. The time is now, not tomorrow, to take positive steps in these embarrassing situations and transform them into experiences of learning and empowerment.
Step inside the shoes of mocking people
I would like you to imagine yourself in the shoes of your mockers. For a moment you see the world from their eyes and ears. Now, since you are inside this character, I want to let you know something ... In a soft voice I tell you this: At some point in our own life we have mocked someone for some reason. We have all done it; no one has escaped and been innocent. We have mocked or teased in front of someone or behind their back. It could have been in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. Knowing that, I can tell you that there are few people, who take the time to think about the damage they have done. Thankfully, more people reflect on the events and decide to change, and not do it anymore.
Each of the individuals who are mocking you were once attacked, wounded and humiliated by others. Just like you and me at some stage in our lives. I have always said "Wounded people hurt others", and that is the pure TRUTH. That is why I have a firm belief that behind every mocker is someone injured and insecure. In my case, I was an easy target for the mockery of others. In primary school they called me "planet head". It hurt to hear it and it made me doubt my self-image, questioning my value and the way I perceived myself. On another occasion, when I arrived in the United States, I did not speak English. When I entered high school, I took English classes. During class, some of my classmates scoffed at the way I spoke. That made me fearful, doubting my ability. During the time I spent in high school, I did not speak English with anyone.
I will confess something... I will be honest with you. I also made fun of other people, in front of them and behind their backs. Then one day, I came to understand that I was repeating the same action that they had done to me. I suffered the same thing myself and decided to change. Each of us has the power to say "Yes", to continue with this chain of mockery, or to say "No" to mockery and build our own self-esteem.
There are people who know how others feel about mockery, but instead of saying "No", they decide to continue the chain, so that through it they can look strong and powerful. They are the clowns of the moment, lovers of control and power. They seek the mastery of a group through the constant humiliation of other individuals. They are like the hyenas of the animal kingdom. They are opportunistic animals, which watch their prey cautiously for any signs of weakness. When they realize the weakness, they attack the point that hurts and annoys in order to attract attention and make the other person feel bad. All this is to be able to quench their own hunger to look better in front of others. They have low self-esteem, and love to make others feel ashamed. In this way they can hide their own complexes and insecurities with the suffering of others. Knowing this, you can see in-depth the reason behind the mockery.
"Do not let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." - Les Brown
The opinions of other people about us are just that, opinions. They do not define you and what you can achieve. Imagine for a moment that a three-year-old is telling you: "You're ugly!" What are you doing? How do you react? Are you angry or annoyed? No way, you just laugh ... it's the same with these people who always want to make you feel less worthy through mockery. Never believe what the person who makes fun of you is saying. No matter what he says, believe in yourself and your capabilities. That is why you first need to have your own love, to know, to believe and to trust in yourself. If not, the same thing that happened to me can happen to you. Over time these ridicules deteriorated the image of how I looked to myself. But all that changes when I found a love for myself. I understood I could not control anything that happens in the outside world; merely what happens inside my being.
Now I will share with you the five steps that helped me face the mockery of other people and take control of the situation:
1. Say "It's true what you say; I am________."
When a person makes a mocking comment, they expect a negative reaction from you. But instead you are affirming what they said using the phrase "It is true what you say; I am_______." Although knowing it is not true, you are being sarcastic.
2. You smile and say "Thank you."
Never try to win. The moment you are on the defensive to protect your image, you let them know what they said affects you. But when you look them in the eyes and with a smile from ear to ear, say "Thank you for what you said, I will keep it in mind," the situation changes.
3. Make fun of yourself.
If someone tells you something, you can use the same phrase that person said, complement it with something else, and then laugh. For example, when I was in elementary school I used to be called "Samuel Planet Head” by another student. I used to say, "Yes, I have a planet head and it's also a glass ball that can read the future." Then I laughed. They expected a different reaction, but I was counteracting their comments. When they saw I was laughing at myself, they stopped and did not tease me anymore.
4. Change the theme.
The moment you discover a person is making fun of you, you can change the subject and talk about something else. Indirectly, this puts you in charge and lets your bully know you are not interested in discussing the comment.
5. Evaluation of the relationship.
If you have a friend who makes fun of you, you can and should communicate what you feel with him or her. But if that person continues to do it, it's time for you to turn your back and spend less time with that person. You need to be with people who motivate you, not make you feel bad.
When you do these steps you have to take into account that also your tone of voice and your posture is a factor that determines total success in the process of dealing with these people. Because when you do that, you make clear what your position is before the mockery. When you turn to that or those people, never forget to be firm and not show weakness, fear or anger, because that could perpetuate the situation, the less affected you show, the more effective your comments or reaction. Actions with confidence and speak with determination.
It is understandable that at first it will not be easy, you can fail but that is normal. It will take time and lots of practice, but that is part of the process, since very small I have always heard the phrase that says "Practice makes the teacher." It's true, you do not need to be an expert to do it, I assure you that as time passes you will be a teacher in the art of self-defense against mockery.